Sunday, October 07, 2012

Twitterati: Mark and Die

My first attempt at fiction was well received. Due to the roaring success (yippie .. 5 people commented back), I have decided to continue with the series. Today's tale is again loosely based on a myth and is anachronistic with tweets.

Once upon a time a sage named @MrikCan'tDo was unable to have children. He prayed the great @LordOfDance and his prayer was powerful enough to penetrate @LordOfDance's trance.

Oh Lord... looks like my little soldiers aren't marching far enough ... please help.

Ha Ha ...Even your name says Mrik Can't do :P .... But you have come to the right place.. I shall help you with your "Do". Would you like a child prodigy set to die at 16 or a long lived psycotic retard.

Oh tough choice .... well i have grown old trying, so no point looking after a retard for rest of my life...
Guess child prodigy is good ... .but seriously 16 .... Certainly you can give him more life..

What more life ... do you think you are bargaining at a merchandise store ? ....but I like you so here take this

@LordOfDance hands over a large stone structure to @MrikCan'tDo. 

Take my Mojo and place in your home. Your soldiers will not just march ...they will waltz their way to the destination....
And regards the death at 16 ... there is not much I can do ... you know I got contracts with @Death and his DeathSquad .....
But make sure that the kid prays my Mojo everyday and may be that is something i'll think about...
Also you can't tell the kid about his fate until his 16 birthday. If you do ... @Death might even hunt him down earlier.

That night @MrikCan'tDo sure had a good time. And yes his little boys did do the Waltz.
9 months later his wife delivered a healthy looking baby boy.
At last Mrik "Can" Do .... Oh but what about the 16 year clause ... how can i tell the boy without breaking the contract.... Oh brilliant ... I'll name him @Mark16AndDie .. genius .... He is a child prodigy surely he'll figure out his own name.

16 years pass in no time. @Mark16AndDie is recognized everywhere as a child prodigy. He has just returned home after submitting his dissertation for PhD in Theology and Religious studies

Mom, Dad I am back. My dissertation has been approved and now i am Doctor Mark16AndDie.

Yeah.. Yeah welcome. So happy to hear that Son. Also Happy Birthday.
Wait before I call for a party .. Have you been Praying @LordOfDance and and bowing before his Mojo everyday ?

Of course Dad.. What kind of theological student would I be, if I didn't pray to the lord himself.
I turn 16 today and one question has always haunted me.. All my friends had names with just alphabetic characters. Why does mine have numbers in it? why 16 ?

I thought a genius like you would have figured out by now. Your name is a puzzle you moron.

Aah !! No wonder then that all these years my name has puzzled me ... why didn't you tell me it was really a puzzle.
Mark 16 ... Today is my 16 th birthday ...WTF ... am I going to die today...
Why didn't you tell me when I was 5.... I could have taken up molecular biology ... You know by know I could have perfected human cloning ........Damn .. what am I going to do ...? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ?????
Oh wait where is that Mojo ... may be Theology and a little surround sound is all I need...

@Mark16AndDie sets up an surround sound system around his room and connects it to a mic attached near his mouth. He places the Mojo in center of the room, hugs it and starts chanting the lords name with all his strength.... The neighborhood is blown by the volume output.
Minutes later @Death's Squad members arrive in their gothic costumes.

S**t !! That is some loud output...I can't take this ....ouch my ear drums hurt....gotta go

You morons, you couldn't just pick up one kid. Nevermind I will take my new Limited Edition Royal Enfield Classic Bull for a spin.

@Death manages to break through the sound barrier on his bull and into @Mark16AndDie's room. @Death throws his lasso of Death around @Mark16AndDie and tries dragging him away. The hug around the Mojo is so tight that @Death also starts detaching the Mojo from its place.

Who dares put the lasso of Death around my Mojo.

Hey how did you get here. And oh ... remember our contract. Its 16 years and its time to collect my debt ... ahem ...I mean the kids body and soul.

Hmm.... Good thing then that I read Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice...
You can only take your pound of flesh ... no blood can be spilled...
Oh sorry wrong story. The contract states only the kids body. There is no mention of my Mojo... You are trying to take my mojo too ... That makes the contract null and void .... Eat this you blood thirsty Shylock .... ahem ...i mean @Death

Aaha ... the daily prayer works...

Damn Shakespeare ..... @DrawingSecret where is Shakespear's life contract. Get the lawyers... I am going after him

Wow .... I beat @Death at his own contracts ... Muha ha ha.... @Mark16AndDie .... from today you shall be called @Undead
 ....Wait sorry that one has an unearthly feel. how about @DeathVictor you like it ?..
And yes now with the contract annulled ... you can live much longer ...
Talk to @WishNo. Think he has a job for you

@Mark16AndDie indeed lived on to achieve greater things under his new identity of @DeathVictor. However he is still best known around the world for his devotion to the @LordOfDance and defeating @Death